Is it just me?

Jim Marjoram
2 min readMar 14, 2021


Life is full of existential nightmares and crisis, which is why religion is so popular.

One particular existential issue that I love to explore (because why not) is the possibility that I am all that exists.

Hold on Jim, that’s ridiculous — take your meds!

But really, I have absolutely no way of knowing if my entire experience of life is nothing more than a product of my mind.

Are any of you people “real” or just something I created? Is the entire universe something that exists only in my head? Pain, suffering, fear… all my own mental creation, or dream.

This isn’t some knew idea. Humans have juggled and avoided it to greater and lesser degrees throughout history.

Ultimately, we have no way of knowing, and perhaps this is one of the most distressing of all existential issues. It’s a spiraling path into insanity if taken to it’s extreme. But we still don’t really know — or I don’t know — because you might just be a figment of my imagination.

Life is a mass of paradoxes that we try to hold together by whatever means we can. We create gods. We explore science. We delve into philosophy. We humans seem to have evolved into this state of self awareness that has created more problems than we care to admit.

But religious thought (in all it’s forms) holds the greatest sense of reason, purpose and security for most humans. And that can be a god/gods, universal consciousness, whatever. We need to find something to hang our hat on, or just accept that it’s all a meaningless mess so just enjoy it while it lasts.

As for me — I’m chronically curious and have to know why and how, so I have a belief system that helps me navigate these absurdities in a way that brings comfort and peace, but also spurs me on to question even more, grow in love, and help others (assuming “others” even exist!). I love my life, happy to live in paradox and uncertainty. For me, it’s all about integrity of thought and heart. And yes, enjoy it while it lasts!

We are all just doing the best we can with what we have at any given moment. Can’t ask for any better than that.

Original blog



Jim Marjoram

Ex-christian, gay man, bringing love and change to the world through practical mental health and spiritual practices.